“Oddball” Cow Refuses to Align with Magnetic North

BULGARIA (AP)—In the small village of Croswyxchayxzhcm, Bulgaria, scientists have discovered a cow who refuses to align with magnetic north. The cow claims that his refusal is steadfast and is a political statement against the poor treatment of cows in the United States.

“People criticize Bulgaria for its poverty,” said the cow, “but the way America treats her cattle… despicable.” The cow, who belongs to a small family of subsistence farmers, claims that American cattle are treated as objects, mere possessions. He cites the same feedlot conditions—including overcrowding, poor sanitation, and overuse of both hormones and antibiotics—that have outraged many animal advocates and food quality watch-groups.

The cow says that his sympathy for American cattle is only heightened by the loving treatment he receives from his owners and that the problem is largely one of differences in cultural attitudes toward nature and livestock. In regard to this difference, he points out that he is “horrified” that “the term ‘slaughterhouse’ is used freely and without censorship” in America.

While his protest primarily hopes to impact the political sphere, the form of his protest has drawn the interest of scientists worldwide. Cattle naturally stand in alignment with the earth’s north-south magnetic lines. Bovinologist Bjorn Fergman originally discovered this phenomenon while attempting to sleep in the shadow of a cow throughout the course of a single day. He found that the shadow was largest in early morning and at dusk and only appeared directly under the cow in the early afternoon.

The protesting Bulgarian cow appreciates the involvement of the scientific community and hopes that the resulting media attention will bring more international support to his cause.